I don't mean to bring this up again for the millionth time, but I have to get this off my chest before I can continue in the path that I am taking. Now earlier this school year, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world when I was dating the guy, whom I'll call Andrew. When Andrew pursued me and showed me the type of respect that no guy had really ever showed me, I was on cloud 9! I wasn't looking into where we would end up because I knew right then and there, I was TRULY happy! It was just the little things that I had a chance to do with him that I didn't get a chance to do with other guys, you know, like holding hands, that mattered to me that most. Then there was a BIG milestone that the both of us got to experience with each other, and even though we barely talk now, I have no regrets. After he broke up with me, for the longest time I had been immersed in a world of darkness and despair that could not compare to anything that I've ever felt before, and I swear I thought I was never going to get out of it no matter how hard I believed in morning. I was holding on so tightly to the past that I didn't want to let go and face the fact that Andrew didn't want me anymore, and maybe he wanted someone else. And I'm sad to say, after that romantic beginning, we are leading two separate lives without each other. Recently, I have learned to let go of him and I've become more at peace with our situation since then. But then there were a couple of people that came into my life as blessings in disguise, one of which I am most grateful for, and knowing him has made me realize what I need as opposed to what I want!
I have been letting these guys hold my self worth for wayyy to long, and I have been holding onto the thought that after Andrew there would be no one else for me out here in this big bad world! And this is not true! Though I haven't kinda sorta found that guy that will want to sacrifice time to be with me, and want to be there to support me, there is someone out there for me! Like there is someone out there for everybody! I have made at least two friends that care deeply about the advancement of our people just as much as I do, and I appreciate the fact that they LOVE my passion! You know, this passion toward unifying the Black community has been something that I fall deeper and deeper into the lonelier I feel and I've just become so passionate about it! When I was with Andrew, I kind of lost sight of this passion, but now I shall never forget! Then here comes this guy I will call David. He followed me on Twitter the day after my birthday, and he is AMAZING. At first I didn't think we would have this chemistry, but every time I look at his revolutionary tweets, he would be reading my mind ALLL DAYYYY! Then not too long ago, he and I became very close as we began to communicate more, and eventually he asked for my number and we talked on the phone! Talking to him, I get this warm feeling inside because I have a HUGE crush on him, and I'm hoping that we would be able to work something out seeing as though we are in two separate stages of life. Though I really like this guy, just knowing him is a blessing in itself and it we were meant to be, we shall happen.
I just love it how we connect through our passion toward the advancement of our people, and I feel that he might feel some way about me, maybe even the same way, and only time will tell if he really feels that way. But the reason why I decided to use Eldridge and Kathleen in this post is because David made a tweet stating that he feels as if he's Eldridge and he's going on this journey [to advance our people] with Kathleen, and more than likely, he was talking about me and boy was I blushing. David has reminded me of what type of guy I want in my life, and how I badly need some guy to stimulate my mind if you catch my drift. I'm tired of holding back my passion when I meet a brotha because I'm afraid he'll get annoyed and leave! I want someone to debate with me, teach me, learn from me! And that's what I get with David, but I don't want to get my hopes up because again, only time will tell how strongly he feels about me. But for now, I'm beyond excited REALLY get to know him and begin this movement with him! You know, I wanna love like Eldridge and Kathleen Cleaver. <3 And I won't stop until I find it.
PeACE
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