Nothin' On You

You know, sometimes it's funny when you watch television and it can give you some of the advice that you've needed for so long.  All the time I stumble upon things I just have an urge to see, though that may sound super and utterly crazy, but every single time I have this urge to watch something it gives me this piece of moral advice that I need to continue on.  Like today, I decided to catch up on that new abc show "Scandal" starring my hero, Kerry Washington.   On the premiere episode she was trying to convince her friend that he should propose to his girlfriend.  Scared, he asked her the question, "what if she leaves me?"  Kerry's character, Olivia, responded (not in the exact wording), "if it doesn't work out then that's it, but if you put your all into something then it's not on you."  So I began to smile because she is absolutely right!  If I just put my all into everything I do, if I don't do well then I am not the blame.  I can't be the blame because I put my ABSOLUTE BEST into it!  And this is what I have been missing!  These are the words that I have needed to hear for so long!  Thank you Olivia Pope!  And now I am a huge fan of this show! (Not just because of this ephipany that it has forced me to come to, but because it's actually a really awesome show and I really want to be like Olivia!  I want to work as hard as her! She's even relatable in many ways!)
     For the past week, I really began to think about whether or not I was really over  Andrew and until last week I realized that I wasn't.  I was just hiding behind those lingering pains that kept me, and keeps me from mentioning his name, those pains that made my heart race and my stomach drop every time I saw him around campus, those pains that made me keep his number in my phone until it was deleted just a few days ago, and those pains that made me look at the girl he might now be interested in and say mean things about her though I don't know her.  So I took many many days to just sit up and think about everything, and I can now say that I am finally at a place where I can say that I AM OVER IT!  Heartbreak hurts like hell, but when you emerge, you're bigger and better than ever!  Trust me, I know!
     With my freshman year at college ending, I can now look back on the things that have happened to me and just learn from them. (Which I won't do until the next article.)  But in just about a little more than two weeks I will be back at home with the people I love/that drive me crazy, but it will be home.  I love Howard University and Washington D.C., but home is home...there's nothing like it.  As of right now, with the little time I do have left at school for the semester, I am at a point in my life where I am tired of being disappointed in myself! I'm tired of being afraid to step out of this shell that I have around me! I am tired of not loving me! I'm tired of everything!  So with this advice from Olivia Pope I'm going to step out and do what I have to do because it feels so much better to fail at something you worked your butt off to accomplish than something you really wanted, but didn't try your ABSOLUTE BEST to attain!  I understand that this may sound a bit twisted, but that's how it is.  So now it's time for this sistah to take charge of her life and it's time for her to do her ABSOLUTE BEST!